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Saturday 13 April 2013

My strength is my Geekness



Yeah yeah yeah, it's been ages. Get over it.

There's something I want to get off my chest, and its only after two glasses of rather good Rioja that I feel I'm able to articulate it properly. Here goes.....

I'm a geek!

I'm not a geek in the contemporary sense. Society has opted to turn being a geek into a fashion statement, and that's fine, but it’s not me. I'm not part of a 'geeky' scene. I don't wear 'geeky' clothes, I don't listen to 'geeky' music* and I don't hang around in 'geeky' groups. By my defiance to adhere to those parameters, am I even allowed to define myself a geek? Maybe not by today's standards, but I'm oldskool.

I'm a geek because I love science, and fantasy, and computer games, and board games (proper board games that take fucking hours to learn and days to play), and facts, and figures, and spreadsheets, and space, and magic*^, and shit*^*.

None of these subjects directly dictate how I should dress, or with whom I should associate myself, or whether or not I should pepper every sentence I utter with the word 'jokes' in place of the word 'good'.

I first experienced the newly defined word 'jokes' being used at a barbecue last summer at a friend's house. The guest list comprised mainly of people at least 8 years my junior, and I politely whiled away most of the afternoon speculating that as I was now a man in my 30's, and most of these people were clearly in their early 20's, they were probably having more sex than me, however I was probably better with my money than them. Everyone was having a lovely time.

However, the one thing that stuck out like a bodybuilder at a bake-off about that day was when someone said to me in passing as I stood at the buffet table:

"That onion relish is jokes mate"

I literally had no idea how to respond. The only thing that I could ascertain from this brief statement was that 'jokes' appeared to replace an adjective. But there were so many adjectives to choose from, and I had a limited amount of time to react. I decided there and then that 'jokes' meant 'oniony', and left the relish alone.

I have since discovered that this was a poor decision, and the relish was in fact delicious. But what would you have done in my place?

Its only in recent years that I've come to the realisation that I am a geek. Prior to that I must have been in denial. I guess I never made the connection between my love of all things geeky and actually being a geek. I mean, I own a telescope for fucks sake, and not just one of them flimsy National Geographic 'oooo, doesn't the moon look slightly bigger' pieces of crap. I mean a real, tripod mounted, auto-tracking, 'fuck me, I can see Neil Armstrong's footprints' kind of telescope.

I own a book co-written by Patrick Moore AND Brian May. Case closed!

I think that seeing a quote posted on Facebook not long ago played a hand in my own personal revelation. It's attributed to Simon Pegg, but as so many people now find it such good sport to display a quote, and photoshop a random celebrity as the background, who can be sure? Still, it sounds like the sort of thing Simon Pegg might say, and it struck a chord with me, so I'll leave you with it. Maybe it will stir the geek in you?

“Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection. It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It’s basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating.”

*may not be 100% accurate

*^not real magic. You know, card tricks and stuff

*^*obviously not actual shit