Austen Allegro

Well, it’s been a while since my last post, but I didn’t really think I’d get as far as I have with writing this blog anyway.

I love writing, but I never seem to be able to keep it up. Believe it or not (why would you not? It would be the crappest lie ever), there are about 5 other blog pages floating around in cyberspace that I’ve both started and discarded, untouched and I daresay unread since I last looked at them.

I find that thinking about this leads me down an eerie path.

In December 1947 we began to discover fragments of parchment in a cave on the shoreline of the Dead Sea in Israel (‘we’ as in people, not ‘we’ as in me and you. At least, I don’t think I was there…… 1947 was a bit of a blur if I’m honest)

These pieces of manuscript were to make up what are now referred to as the Dead Sea Scrolls, the oldest accounts to date of Jewish biblical history in writing. They apparently date back to around 150BC, which, without wanting to labour the point, is fucking old.

Why mention this?

Well, because of our incessant need to modernise (‘our’ as in people’s, not ‘our’ as in mine and yours. I still think file’o’faxes are a good idea), in two thousand years from now – long after every computer and every server in existence has crashed or died – unless it has been successfully copied, the vast majority of digitally written information we currently hold will be lost…… forever!

No one is going to dig up a Kindle in 2,000 year’s time and be able to use it to discern anything about how we lived over two millennia ago.

The same goes for pictures. We’re going to lose them too.

Hardly anybody makes hard copy prints of pictures any more. Photo albums are already becoming a thing of the past. As we plough on and continue to digitise everything that we produce, in 2,000 years there could well be no pictorial or written evidence that a civilization from our great grandchildren onwards ever existed if we don’t successfully copy the information we produce.

While the thought of this is slightly unnerving, thankfully it does mean that in 4012 it’s likely that no one is going to stumble across my mainly pointless internet based musings, and use them to construct a model of 21st Century life. I wouldn’t be doing us justice.

So, safe in the knowledge that my cyber ramblings will not survive the test of time, I will continue to brain-spew every now and again as fancy takes me.

I’m beginning to regret being so specific with this blog. I can usually think of a ton of stuff to drivel on about, but to try and squeeze it into a framework that involves cars, something that I don’t actually care about that much, has really managed to stifle my creative juices.

Whilst I fell in love with the idea for this blog, the trouble is that while I do get to drive a load of motors, 90% of them are just average, run of the mill, boring cars. Who wants to hear about an old VW Passat? No? What about a Vauxhall Zafira? Hmm? How about a Ford S-Max? I’m boring myself here.

I’ll give you an example of how much of a poor choice cars are for me to write about:

My grandma had an Austen Allegro when I was growing up. I have such fond memories of that car. It was green with a rectangle steering wheel and I used to sit on the bonnet (when it was parked, I hasten to add……. Not as some kind of dreadful punishment). That is my review of the Austen Allegro in its entirety.

I recently briefly considered purchasing an Austen Allegro for purely nostalgic purposes, only to discover that The Sun ran a public poll in 2008 which voted the Austen Allegro as the worst car ever made. Ever Made! That’s how ill suited I am to writing about cars.

So what is to become of this blog?

Well I reckon I’ll keep writing, and report on fancy/interesting/unbelievably shit cars as and when I get to drive them, but I think that widening the spectrum of content will do wonders in my ongoing battle against writing apathy.

So from now on you can expect erratic whimsical opinion pieces on pretty much anything that falls out of my cranium. I will try and cram cars into as many posts as possible though. For example, I was thinking of writing a post about Jeremy Kyle, and what type of car I’d most like to run him over with.

I’ve had some really good feedback about this blog, so I hope this change of direction doesn’t dishearten you my dear reader.

I’ll leave you for now with the immortal words* of the great Jerry Springer:

“Until next time, take care of yourselves….. and each other”

*Not to be confused with his other phrase:

“Somebody get me some more Viagra. I can feel my heart slowing down and I’m not red enough”

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