When I first started at Chauffeur Monkey I genuinely hoped for 2 things:
- I hoped that I never have to drive a left-hand-drive car, as I’m convinced I would instantly crash it; and
- I hoped I wouldn’t drive too many big tank-like 4x4’s
I can happily report that the former hope is still intact – I’ve yet to drive a leftie - however the latter hope has well and truly been dashed against the rocks.
I don’t like 4x4’s!
To kick off the first of many anti-Clarkson type rants I expect I’ll have, I think climate change is a very real thing and I’m all up for people and companies taking personal responsibility for it. The Range Rover Vogue TDV8, like most 4x4’s does about 25-30 miles to the gallon at best. A quick Google search reliably informs me that the average UK
To me, this can mean one of three things. The average 4x4 owner:
- Knows the effects that driving their car has on the environment, but doesn’t care
- Doesn’t believe in the effects of Climate Change, so doesn’t care
- Actually needs a 4x4
Seeing as the average 4x4 driver is not, in fact, an arable farmer, I wish to have option 3 stricken from the record m’lud.
That said, I have now driven more 4x4’s than anyone I know. I’d like to tell you that I offset this affront to all the morals I hold dear by planting a tree, or adopting an orphan, or something equally ethically worthwhile every time I drive one.
I’d like to, but I can’t.
I can’t, because the truth is…….. hold on….. the truth is……wait……I can’t quite seem to swallow this bile…. the truth is….. I.. quite… like…. driving them.
(With the exception of yours Ange, sorry but it’s horrible. Clutches should not have to be depressed with both feet – No wonder your knee is buggered).
I like driving them first and foremost because I feel safe in one. The Range Rover especially is, as previously ranted about, a tank. And tanks are safe.
Another quick Google lets me know that an actual tank will set you back about £30,000,000 so the Vogue TDV8 is a snip at about £80,000 for a second hand one.
I wouldn’t try and invade Afganistan in one though.
Secondly, every one I’ve ever driven is ridiculously comfortable. It’s like driving a sofa. This might not actually be such a good thing as I can imagine that there is a real danger of falling asleep at the wheel on long journeys.
The dashboard is unnecessarily digital. That is all I have to say about the dashboard.
It’s got all the bits & bobs & whatnots that you’d expect from an 80 grand car including:
Automatic lights (and auto full beam lights as well – that freaked me out), automatic windscreen wipers, rear view camera, in-built SatNav, in car hands-free phone connection, heated seats, rear DVD player and a device which performs felacio on you as you drive (well, it might as well have).
With all that in mind, I think the question you really need to ask yourself is:
If I had £80,000 would I spunk it on a Range Rover, or would I go on holiday…… forever!
And now I can finally reply!! I like the blog and even more like the fact that you enjoy driving a range rover. I am a bit surprised though that your legs were so weak that you needed to use both feet to depress the clutch! I suggest that you do some leg excercises at work while you are sitting down, in order to strengthen those girlie thighs and calfs. My knees were buggered from work, still managed to drive after the knee op but then maybe the rest of my leg muscles are strong enough to depress a clutch one footed. Carry on with the blogs, very enjoyable reading. (although you could have improved your wild life actions by karate chopping the poor thing and bringing it home for road kill stew, thereby involving another of your skills).
ReplyDelete